MEDICAL FOLLOW-UP: COAT MAINTENANCE & THE "CARWASH"
CLASSIFICATION: GENERAL MEDICAL
DATE: September 10, 2026
SUBJECT: Specialist "Wulfsige" (A-993-W)
ATTENDING: Dr. Arin Yilmaz (Bio-Engineering)
Specialist Wulfsige was called in for a consult immediately following Specialist Luca's emergency medical presentation — in which Luca had concluded, with considerable distress, that he was experiencing progressive genetic necrosis. (He was shedding his winter undercoat.)
I informed Wulfsige of the situation.
He stared at me for a moment. Then he leaned back in the chair and laughed — a deep, chest-rattling sound that lasted several seconds.
"He said what? That he was melting? Oh god — the poor kid. I forgot he doesn't know. He's never had to deal with a winter coat before. I mean — I personally haven't either, as a shedder, but I at least know what it is. It'll be interesting when mine starts."
Current shedding status: negative. No active coat blow. However, Wulfsige's amusement faded quickly into pragmatic concern once the immediate humor subsided.
"I haven't started yet. But if Luca is going, I'm probably next. And honestly, Doc? I didn't think about the logistics until just now. If we both blow our coats in the barracks — the air filters are going to clog in a day. It's going to be like a blizzard in there. We need a plan before Facilities tries to evict us."
We presented the schematic for the proposed High-Velocity Aerodynamic Dryer — a walk-in wind tunnel with 360-degree air jets designed to blast loose undercoat out of the fur post-shower, venting to an external filter system rather than the barracks HVAC.
Wulfsige studied the blueprints for approximately thirty seconds.
"So — you built us a canine carwash. Do I get a wax option with the undercarriage spray?"
He approved the design without further comment on the aesthetics.
"If it works, build it. We'll use it every shift rotation. Just make sure the drain is industrial grade. I mean it."
Before leaving, Wulfsige made a specific requisition — heavy-duty undercoat rakes, professional grooming standard — and declined the offer of medical staff assistance for the brushing work.
"No. Don't send a nurse in there with a brush. Luca is already embarrassed. He feels like a freak. If I do it, it's just pack maintenance. It's normal. I'll help him with the matting and teach him how to manage it himself. These are problems specific to us — it's easier when it's just the two of us talking through it. It'll be like teaching him how to shave. Except different."
Wulfsige has taken full ownership of the hygiene protocol. He is treating the shedding not as a medical inconvenience but as a mentorship moment — a thing Luca needs to understand and not be ashamed of, delivered by the one person who can make it feel normal instead of clinical.
The Carwash installation begins tomorrow in the Specialist Shower Block. Grooming tools issued to Wulfsige per his request.
End of Report.